Relationship Quotes for the Hopeful

Relationship Quotes for the Hopeful

a quote about vulnerability on a greren background

 

Relationships Can Be Tricky–But Oh So Rewarding!

This quotes post is on the many different aspects of intimate relationships. In order to be involved in healthy relationships we must know who we are and what we want. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is another necessity. Then we need to actually meet people, date, and work on creating depth, respect, and trust. Once obtained, both partners need to continue to maintain the connection. Yes, this kind of sounds like a lot of work. But it can be so worth it!

 

A quote about connection

 

If you have read my post on vulnerability, you already know I am a fan of the amazing Brené Brown, social researcher extraordinaire. Haven’t read it? I put the link at the end of this article.

 

a tree with hearts and a quote about wanting better

 

Walking away from a relationship is sometimes one of the most difficult decisions we will ever have to make. The thought of being alone can be daunting. But staying in a place where we are disrespected, devalued, and lonely is so much worse. Always remember your self-respect and dignity is priceless.

 

a picture of a waterfall in the woods with a quote about relationships

 

Nora Roberts knows about the many stages of love. She is an American New York Times bestselling author and has written more than 200 romance novels.

 

a teal blue background with a quote about being single

 

I plan on keeping it with me to use as a comeback if needed. I couldn’t find an author to credit this quote to, unfortunately.

 

watercolor heart with the quote Your heart knows the way Run in that direction

 

Rumi was a 13th-century Persian Sunni Muslim poet, jurist, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic. He said some eternally profound statements that also make great art quotes.

 

a bridge in the woods with the quote love is the bridge between you & everything

 

 

purple and pink mandala with a quote by r.h. Sin

 

r.h. Sin (Reuben Holmes) became known for his feminist poetry through posts on Instagram. His poetry has attracted a huge online following, with numbers currently at over 580,000. His story is amazing–read it here on The New Stack.

 

a bluish green background with the quote a true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other

 

This relationship quote is so basic yet so true. I couldn’t find an author to credit for this one.

 

quote A sea of whiskey couldn't intoxicate me as much as a drop of you

 

This is so damn romantic. If a man ever says this one to me I am done. End of story.

There are many more relationship quotes out there that describe the hopes, trials, and tribulations often involved in the dance of love. It is tough to be vulnerable, to open our heart up to the possibility of hurt. However, when you find that special someone you will realize it was worth the ride.

Read our article Coming Face to Face with Vulnerability.

Share your favorite relationship quote with us in the comments below!

Till next time, Sandra

 

 

 

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Love: Which Language do You Speak?

Love: Which Language do You Speak?

A heart shape made out of paint splatters

It’s About Keeping the Old Love Tank Full

I have worked with many couples as a therapist and it is helpful to have tools for them to work on at home.  I always recommend the book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

This is one of the many books Dr. Chapman has written on the topic of love languages. As a relationship counselor he recognized there are specific needs people have in a partnership that must be met in order for a person to feel loved and appreciated. Five primary needs seemed to come up repeatedly in couples counseling. These themes make up the foundation of the 5 Love Languages.

 

The 5 Love Languages

 

words of affirmation

Words of Affirmation

This individual needs to hear “I love you” and other affirming words from their partner. Positive words spoken or written help this person feel loved and cherished in the relationship. Compliments and appreciation voiced out loud are worth their weight in gold, and negative statements really pack a punch.

 

man snowblowing

Acts of Service

Actions speak louder than words for this person. Show your love by helping with the dishes, laundry, or changing the oil in the car and filling it up with gas. This is my main love language, and this picture speaks a thousand words here in Wisconsin with winter just around the corner!

 

Two presents with heart gift wrapping

Receiving Gifts

Dr. Chapman says an actual gift is what makes this person feel valued. This love language may seem materialistic, but it isn’t.  A present chosen with thought and care, regardless of the cost, means their significant other was willing to make an investment. And that’s what counts here.

 

 

 

a couple walking on the beach

Quality Time

Spending time together is what makes this person tick. Date night, watching a movie together, even preparing dinner side by side meet the main love needs of this individual. Being there for them when they need you, and following through on commitments are crucial.

 

picture of the back of a couple sitting on a bench

Physical Touch

Every day physical contact–hugs, holding hands, sitting by their love on the couch–is this person’s greatest need in a relationship. Intimacy in the bedroom is important, but so are random displays of affection while going about the day.

 

Find out your primary love language by taking the assessment on the 5 Love Languages website. Learn Your Love Language Here

You will also find Dr. Chapman’s array of books on this topic, including one specifically for him and one for her, for sale on the website.

 

Anything that helps a couple learn about each other’s needs is worth investing in. Feeling valued and fulfilled is necessary for a partnership to keep growing. Knowing what your partner needs gives you the opportunity to keep their love tank full!

Share with us any tools you are aware of that help couples stay connected in the comments below.

Till next time, Sandra

 

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Midlife Dating: What Really Matters

Midlife Dating: What Really Matters

a woman sitting alone on a cliff

To Thine Own Self Be True

In some ways, midlife is a time of enlightenment. Sounds grand, even romantic, doesn’t it? But really, I have developed insight and wisdom over the past ten+ years in a number of ways, including dating. All thanks to my winding, crooked, detour-laden path. I once read experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want

Dating is one of the areas where I’ve had my share of opportunities for growth (don’t you love my positive perspective). My trial and error through relationships has taught me the importance of mastering four key elements of self before taking another step forward in the dating arena.

 

Self-Awareness

According to Google Dictionary self-awareness is defined as a conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.  Because of my journey, I am much more cognizant of who I am, my wants and needs, and equally, what I won’t settle for. This includes self-validation of my likes, dislikes, interests, talents, strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and passions. Developing intrapersonal skills is a must when it comes to healthy relationships.

Being self-aware also encompasses interpersonal skills, including the ability to understand other people, how they in turn perceive you, and the best way to interact with one compared to another. Work on any areas you feel need improvement, and then own your stuff with no excuses or attempts to change for anyone. This leads to self-confidence.

A woman stands on top of a tall cliff and praises

Confidence

We develop self-confidence when we are able to master different pursuits and skills, including the art of healthy relationships. Vulnerability comes into play here.  I open my heart to the possibility of hurt and failure to have a chance at love. Read our post on vulnerability here.

My belief in myself has grown tremendously through trial and error, continuing to put one foot in front of the other. Managing to get back up when I stumble and fall. This eventually builds self-confidence and efficacy.

When it comes to dating, I no longer try to impress anyone or be someone other than who I am. Having confidence in ourselves leads to wisdom.

 

 

Wisdom

I am a fan of Deepak Chopra. In his book The 7 Laws of Spiritual Success he discusses the power of acceptance and letting go. Wisdom is accepting what is, even though we may want things to be different right this very moment. The next step is letting go of the desire to control the outcome. True abandonment comes when we allow the universal order to unfold and create whatever is meant to be.  Wisdom is backing up, releasing, and practicing gratitude for what transpires, even if it isn’t what you hoped for.

 

A woman reads a book alone before a night sky.

Focus

At this point it is time to get focused.  I read an article many years ago about how to manifest the love or your life. It recommended making a Love List—an inventory of 100 characteristics you expect and need in another person for them to be considered relationship material.

I agree–100 items is a bit daunting. I admit a few are a bit trivial, like eye color or the vehicle they drive. But focused it is!

I am seeking someone who is intelligent, kind, and respectful. He needs to be adventurous, fun and can easily make me laugh. He loves animals, nature, and deep conversation over a cup of hot coffee early in the morning.  See, only 91 more to go!

 

 

 

Create your list and use it to rate a potential partner after spending a decent amount of time together. Determine the minimum score needed to earn a passing grade. Now, put this new person to the test. True or false– do they exhibit the trait or not? Overall do they pass the test? No? Move on if your quest is for a long-term relationship.

I decided to approach dating as an adventure–who knows, perhaps I will write a book on midlife dating some day.

Read out post  Online Dating in Midlife: Help is Here!

I would love to hear your perspective on dating in midlife– please share in the comments below!

Till next time, Sandra

 

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Midlife Intimacy: It Really is Important!

Midlife Intimacy: It Really is Important!

sunset

Sex After 50? Yes, Please!

 

There is this giant void in the culture about women in that

age group as heroines, as romantic beings, as sexual beings

& as creative beings, & there’s not that void for men.

Women don’t stop being all those things as their lives

continue into those decades.  Naomi Wolf     

         

Remember back when you were a kid? If you were like me, you assumed your parents had only had sex one time for each kid in your family. People in midlife having sex seemed unthinkable, and that was that. Sex for procreation–end of subject.

Things change once you become the parent, of course. I now view intimacy as a basic human need. And I am pleased to say there are some powerful advocates of the sexual revolution for those of us in midlife.

In 2015, Erica Jong wrote her novel, Fear of Dying, which many view as a “spiritual sequel” to her classic Fear of Flying. This novel boldly proclaims sex in midlife and beyond is healthy and, yes, can even be fulfilling. Imagine that.

“Women were not allowed to have passion at 60,” Erica writes in Fear of Dying. “We were supposed to become grandmothers and retreat into serene sexlessness.” 

Erica Jong is making sex in midlife sound sexy, and that is an important concept in normalizing healthy intimacy for those of us who are beyond 50.

 

 

I found a compelling article, The New Sexual Revolution Begins At 50, written by Erica Jagger and Jack Anderson for Huffington Post. The authors provide a strong defense for not accepting a life of celibacy just because one surpasses a certain age.

I chose three of their discussion points to share–you can read the full article here:  The New Sexual Revolution Begins at 50

The article begins with Erica explaining how she ended up collaborating with Jack: 

Along with a healthy dose of wisdom acquired after years of unpacking our baggage — middle age, we realized in our chats, actually unlocks a psychological and sexual renaissance. So we decided to share with you our revelation — that the new Sexual Revolution begins at 50. Here’s why:

Erica and Jack discuss a sexual bucket list–I love this idea. This is one step toward keeping sex a healthy priority in midlife.

Jack: “If not now, when?” That’s the perennial question many couples ask themselves as they enter their fifth decade of life. This becomes an even truer statement after going through the extreme emotional roller coaster ride of a separation and divorce. After that world of crazy, how scary can experimental be? Exactly. Let it ride.

Erica: Do you really want to reach the end of your life regretting that you didn’t take that trip to the dungeon, or whatever else your groin desired? As long it’s safe, fun, and yes, sometimes crazy — and of course consensual — then, seize the day.

 

 

I’m NOT tired.

Jack: Most folks in their 50s have settled into their careers, and a fortunate few have stepped off the career platform thanks to early retirement. Their kids are grown, so the late night feedings, ear aches, and projectile vomiting are ancient memories. There’s a lot more time then, to explore, on a sexual anthropological level, the ultimate quest of “the birds and the bees.”

Erica: The last thing I wanted when I had a child latched on to my breast was my husband reaching for the other one. Now, post-divorce and with my job as personal assistant to my children nearing its end, I have more time to think about sex, more energy to act on it, and more opportunities to discover what turns me on.

I can’t get pregnant.

Jack: If you’ve had kids already, the greatest thing of all about being with a woman, post menopause, is she can’t get pregnant. Period. Oh, yeah, that’s gone too. So there is no down time. That means, all things being equal, every night is a go night for a couple at this age. How hot is that?

Erica: Once women stop worrying about getting pregnant — or not getting pregnant — they start enjoying sex purely for the sake of sex, often for the first time.

 

How true–and why not?

 

empty bed 

Ready to embark on your midlife sexual transformation? I recommend a video to launch your quest:

TED Talks: Women’s Sexuality isn’t “Complicated” by Sarah Barmak

 

Explore midlife sexuality–make it a healthy and pleasurable part of your world. Let’s get past the stigma lingering in society and start living a passionate life!

 

Read our post Midlife Dating: What Really Matters.

 

“Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation,

I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather

like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite. “

76-year-old feminist writer Germaine Greer   

 

Till next time, Sandra

 

Please share your thoughts on sexuality in midlife and beyond in the comments below.

 

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Coming Face to Face with Vulnerability

Coming Face to Face with Vulnerability

Heart in a cage.

 

“Vulnerability is at the core, the center, of meaningful human experiences.”

-Brené Brown


Learning to be vulnerable is a pretty big undertaking, but it’s also a necessary step in the direction of healthy relationships. Self-care has become a priority for me, and having connections with people I can count on is a huge part of taking care of myself. In midlife, I find myself reflecting on the past to develop an understanding of what to tweak for creating a healthier, happier future.

One big area needing improvement is my love life. Brené Brown, a vulnerability researcher, has become my mentor, although she is unaware of this. She speaks about allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in order to truly be able to connect with others.
According to the Merriam-Webster On-line Dictionary, the definition of vulnerable is:
 
1:capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2:open to attack or damage :assailable 
 
Sounds a bit dangerous and scary, this thing called vulnerability. No wonder I’ve been dodging the dating scene.

 Trust is a difficult thing for me. Hurt and disappointment in my love life have left me with a fear of vulnerability. Over time a protective wall has gone up–one that I built to avoid emotional pain. My focus now is on taking it down. The isolation chamber I constructed over the years has become a damn lonely place!

A dog hiding.

Connection, according to Brené, gives our lives purpose and meaning. She even goes so far as to say connection is the reason we are all here. 

In order for us to allow for connection, we must first feel worthy. There in lies the problem. As a therapist, this is the number one issue I see in 99% of my clients–I am not good enough is a common thread that weaves through our society.  

If we’re raised to feel worthy, we have a strong sense of love and belonging. Unfortunately, this is not a reality for many people. I believe this is one of the core issues that ails our society. Lack of self-worth leads to fear, shame, and a struggle for connection. 

 

 

How do most of us cope with these terrible feelings? By numbing out the pain. Because if we are numb, we can no longer feel afraid, disappointed, sad, or unloved. Avoidance allows us to not have to address the deep shit mucking up our core. 

We become addicted to one or two, maybe even more, of the many available substances or activities that numb. Maybe its alcohol or drugs, shopping, sex, gambling or eating.  Or, how about perfectionism? Whatever it looks like, our goal is to stop the pain.

Blaming others is one way to discharge the discomfort we experience. When we don’t own our own stuff we avoid taking responsibility, and also creating our own destiny. 

Of course, this  avoidance of responsibility and numbing the pain also keeps us from feeling the good stuff, like joy, belonging, creativity, and love. We may feel a glimmer of these, desperately seeking out love, but it’s not possible to truly feel it when we are numb. 

 

Two dogs side by side but not facing each other.

 

So, how do we un-numb ourselves?

To embrace vulnerability, courage is needed. We must be able to tell our story, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly parts of it, with our whole heart. To trust it will be okay. Taking off the mask and exposing our true selves, imperfections and all–what a scary concept!

Compassion is another aspect of vulnerability. This begins with being kind to ourselves. We cannot experience true empathy for another if we don’t first have the ability to show compassion to ourselves. Once we love ourselves unconditionally, we are able to be there for others in a healthy way.

Brené emphasizes the hardest part of vulnerability is connection, because this requires authenticity–to be who you are versus who you think you should be. Letting go of all of the messages from the past that have been internalized and created the mindset I am not good enough the way I am.

What if I told you what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful? Try incorporating this message into your mindset. This is a process that takes time and lots of affirmations. I have 54 years of vulnerability avoidance to overcome. Patience, not one of my strengths, is a necessity here.

 

Two dogs laying down facing each other with paws intertwined.

 

Yes, this is all personal.

After ten, yes, ten, years of cutting myself off from the dating scene, I now realize I don’t want to become an isolated cat lady. The cat lady part is fine and lovely, but isolated is a sad word if you ask me. It doesn’t go well with happy, healthy and loved.

Dating makes me feel terribly vulnerable. The thought of investing in a relationship that may or may not work out is frightening. To say I love you before the other person does? I will have to think about that one!

I encourage you to be authentic. Embrace your imperfections, we all have them. This is what makes us unique human beings. Allow yourself to love with your whole heart, while knowing this leaves you vulnerable. Be kind to yourself, be joyful and grateful. Explore creativity, whether it’s painting, writing, singing, cooking, or gardening.  Say to yourself often I am enough.

Watching Brené Brown speak has made an impact on me. I am not alone; her 20 minute TED Talks video on the Power of Vulnerability is incredible, and has had 31,232,145 views. 

I encourage you to take the time to watch this, I promise it is worth your time.

Brené Brown TED Talk

 

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are never weakness.”

-Brené Brown

 

Read our post  Midlife Dating: What Really Matters.

 

What is your personal experience with vulnerability? Please share in the comments below!

Till next time, Sandra

 

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Healing Your Heart with Rose Quartz

Healing Your Heart with Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz for Healing Your Heart

One of my favorite crystals is Rose Quartz.  Not only is it beautiful, it’s also a powerful healing crystal. It epitomizes everything love!  Rose Quartz, referred to as the heart stone, vibrates with goddess frequency to heal your heart from past hurts and to steer you on your way to finding healthy love.

A soft feminine energy of compassion and peace, tenderness and healing, nourishment and comfort radiates from Rose Quartz. It guides a Divine loving energy to flow throughout the entire aura, healing mind, body, and soul. 

Wearing Rose Quartz opens the heart chakra to the love of self and others. In order to attract and maintain a healthy relationship, we must first love ourselves. This is often a difficult concept to accept due to childhood abuse or neglect, or past relationships we have been in. Rose Quartz can support you in your healing and journey toward self-love.  Read our article on Self-Love here.

a pink heart with a line through it

Spiritually Rose Quartz help the heart to both give and receive love, this being one of the most important aspects of this healing crystal. We need a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves to offer a healthy spiritual center. Feeling connected with the Universe or a religion are two examples of how to fulfill your spiritual needs. Rose Quartz opens us up to the possibilities, and helps us find and maintain the connection right for us.

 

 

 

For the physical body, Rose Quartz stabilizes heart trauma and imbalances. It grounds the individual in a higher energy frequency of love, minimizing the impact of stress on the physical being. Rose Quartz can be helpful to anyone who needs a stronger, more stable heart.

a magenta heartRose Quartz inspires the love of beauty in oneself, in others, and in nature. This crystal is known to spark the creative imagination in all artistic ventures, including art, music and writing.  I always wear one when I am painting or working on my blog. Read our post on Intuitive Art for Soul Connection.

While writing this post, the song composed by Burt Bacharach What the world needs now, is love, sweet love…keeps drifting through my headThe world desperately needs love and light as we go through difficult times on planet Earth. Make an effort to spread love and compassion to others. Rose Quartz is an excellent talisman to assist you in this endeavor.

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless

garden when the flowers are dead.  – Oscar Wilde

Peace & Love, Sandra

Disclaimer: This is informational only. If you have a medical or mental health issue please see your doctor for care.

 

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A Love Match Made in Ireland

A Love Match Made in Ireland

 

Matchmaking Festival–Lisdoonvarna, County Clare, Ireland

 

“Love is waiting there for everyone, it’s there just waiting to be found.

When it is, it’s a lovely feeling.” Willie Daly, Matchmaker

 

For anyone seeking love, a fall matchmaking festival in Ireland might sound fascinating. It does to me anyway. But a six-week long one?

After a bit of contemplation, I considered the 20+ years I’ve been single and dating. I’ve tried my share of online sites, spending precious time on countless, less than memorable dates, and, needless to say, I’m still keeping my options open regarding men.

During a recent vacation in Ireland, my sister, who owns a home on the gorgeous Emerald Isle, sent me this photo advertising the event. A year ago, while we were traveling in Ireland, we laughed when a local described the event to us.

Now, however, I am intrigued. What still-single lass wouldn’t be? Plus, a psychic recently told me I would marry a sheep farmer, and what better place to find one than in Ireland!


The Matchmaking Festival website proclaims the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival is the biggest event of its kind in Europe. Attending offers one the opportunity to “celebrate life, love, good music and great times!”

 

 

Anyone between the ages of 18-80 is welcome to try their luck at the game of love. The event offers live music, speed-dating, and sessions with the local matchmaker, Willie Daly, whose office is conveniently located at the Matchmaker Bar.

Willie Daly, Ireland’s most famous matchmaker, took over the family business of matchmaking from his father, who had inherited the role from his father. They wanted to help shy farmers muster up the courage to encounter a suitable lady. Much of Ireland was quite rural back then, and farmers lacked the skills necessary to court a lady properly.

Willie boasts setting up as many as 3,000 marriages over the past 45 years. He aims to help singles of all ages and nationalities meet the ideal partner and fall in love. Those seeking love meet with Willie at his ‘office’ and he takes notes, makes up a profile on each individual, then does his best to create a match made in heaven-or at least in Ireland.

The ‘Lucky Book’ contains the profiles of hopeful singles from over the past 150 years of the family’s work in the field of matchmaking.  Willie claims “If you touch this ‘love ledger’ you’ll be married and in love inside of six months. If you are already married, you will recreate the honeymoon period you first had.”


I did meet an eligible leprechaun on my first trip to Dublin!

I wonder if anyone besides Willie Daly is there for the entire six weeks?  

The festival is prepared to host as many as 40,000 people over the six weekends. And, no pressure, but the website states – make sure YOU are one of them…

Feeling inspired, I have decided a trip to County Clare, Ireland, is on my agenda for the fall of 2018. This will make for a great blog, and there is always the chance of finding myself a sheep farmer. Perhaps Aengus, the love God of ancient Ireland will work his magic while I am there…

So would you go to this event or a similar one? Please share your thoughts on matchmaking in the comments below.

 

You can find more info on the Matchmaking Festival here!

 

Read our posts on Quotes About Ireland and The 5 Most Brilliant Things About County Wicklow, Ireland.

Till next time, Sandra

 

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Online Dating in Midlife: Help is Here!

Online Dating in Midlife: Help is Here!

heart carved into wood painted aqua blue

Online Dating in Midlife: Help is Here!

 “Maybe it won’t work out…but maybe seeing if it does
will be the best adventure ever.” – Author Unknown

My Experience

Dating in midlife is quite different than back when I was in high school–go figure. Online dating wasn’t even heard of back in the ’80s.  So I did some research and it seems like a great way to reach out and meet other singles. Especially if you reside in a small, somewhat rural community like I do.

Over the past 15 years I’ve done my share of looking for love on the World Wide Web. Match.com, eHarmony, OK Cupid–just to name a few. The options are almost endless and many online sites cater to specific groups, such as religion or ethnicity. There’s even a number of sites for those interested in finding a farmer.

Articles offering advice on midlife dating are available on online dating sites. Some of these are well-written and actually helpful. As a self-proclaimed expert on this topic I came up with tips I hope will help you successfully maneuver through the experience in midlife.

A heart drawn in the sand by a body of water.

My Suggestions

Have An Open Mind & A Strong Will

First you need to approach on-line dating with an open mind. This is not a process for the weak-willed. It takes commitment, energy, and time. But I was willing to devote all of these to finding the man of my dreams.

On-line dating also takes some fortitude. I made connections and went on actual dates–I even had one long-term relationship. Connecting and meeting up is self-affirming. On the other hand not hearing from anyone for a period of time really can pack an emotional punch!

 

Who Are You?

To thine own self be true. How well do you know yourself? Self-reflection is an important part of all aspects of your life. It is crucial in the world of dating.

Who are you? What do you value? Are you open to trying new activities? How would you rate your sense of self? If you feel you need help in an area work on this first before you begin the on-line dating process.

My advice is to know who you are and never compromise any aspect of yourself in order to increase the activity on your profile.

 

 

What Do You Want?

I once read an article on manifesting the partner of your dreams. Making a list of 100 traits you are looking for in a partner was the basis of the article. Around #55 I started feeling a bit trivial, probably for a reason. #55-Brown eyes. # 56-Drives a Truck…you get the idea. I was getting desperate!

Once your list is complete, decide what you consider a passing score. Now you have an assessment tool for rating a potential partner. No wishy-washiness allowed here. No settling. Allow a bit of room for compromise, but stick to your values.

 

Determine Your Relationship Goals

Are you looking for a long-term commitment? Dating for friendship and fun? This is a tough one for me, as my approach to dating is who knows? Can’t I take this one day at a time and see where it goes?  Of course our goal doesn’t need to be etched in stone; you are, after all, always allowed to change your mind and your direction.

On the other hand, if you truly never want to get married again, accept this. Be true to yourself.

For more insight read our article Midlife Dating: What Really Matters

 

hands shaped like a heart with the sun behind

 

Your Profile

It’s worth putting a bit of effort into your online profile. A picture can speak a thousand words–have someone take a zillion of you if necessary in order to find a good one.

Include details to give those interested insight into who you are, your interests, your values, and even your dislikes. The more the better. This can save wasting your time with someone who, for example, smokes when you truly detest smoking. Let your personality shine through and be honest. By now who wants to waste time pretending?

 

 

Letting Go

By midlife, most of us know that a relationship worth having is not something we can contrive. Finding someone who fits into your world takes faith and persistence. Patience is a virtue. One I am not good at, but I keep trying.

Remember the line from the Garth Brooks song Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers? Focus on being open to what the Universe presents. Let go–-you don’t always know what is best for us. You can get in your own way by having too rigid of expectations. The more self-reflection you do the better you’re able to determine what you truly need and want from a partner. However, I encourage you to stay open to possibilities that come your way.

Having a positive attitude and approaching online dating as an opportunity to have fun, learn, and grow helps reduce the dread and fear you may feel about dating. I view this as an adventure, even possibly as content for a book one day–who knows?

Believe in yourself –what the Universe intends for you will happen at the right time.

Have you returned to the dating scene in midlife? Did you try online dating? If you have insights or interesting incidents you are willing to share, please do so in the comments below!

Till next time, Sandra

 

 

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